Bro overhearing two of his teammates talking about fucking each other after the session. He’s getting oddly hard. You know, for a “straight” guy. He’ll store this away in the top secret spankbank for later and return to his game.
There’s a party downstairs, but you and bro have snuck off to the bedroom for a bit of R&R before you get back to it. Can’t be too long, though. Your girlfriends might start asking awkward questions. Again.
Mark getting in his pre-gym workout. Gotta get pumped so all his fuck buds at Sparta see him in a good light. This is what he’ll be wearing at the gym, so there’s not really such a thing as a bad light.
Dustin contemplating Mark’s offer. He told the lunk that if he wanted a piece of the best pussy he’d ever have, then don’t be shy. Now he’s just staring at Mark doing his Romanian deadlifts in his jockstrap and booty shorts and can’t believe he’s actually thinking about it.
“No, dude. I trust you. If fucking me is the only way to get rid of that itch, then do it. The problem goes so deep, bro. Nothing I do can satisfy it.”
“This will satisfy it,” you said as you smacked your eight incher on your palm. “You don’t know it, dude, but your ass has been craving this for years.”
Jockboi’s getting ready to listen to today’s jock-file so he has to get into uniform. Which means he flips his cap back. He’s either in his football gear, or already dressed permanently for the gym. What other clothes are there, dude?
He’ll spend the next hour zoned out while Coach’s voice instils jock values into his ever-slowing brain. He’ll wake up with a painful dripping boner, which he’ll satisfy while watching some Coach-approved porn. Today, it’s some locker room scene where two guys flipflop and just call each other dude over and over again.
Then it’s time for a hearty meal of steak, potatoes and broccoli, washed down with coach’s special “jock juice” protein shake, before heading for his evening sesh at the gym with Joey and Gabe and Zach and Hiro and Jordan and Noah and Rory and…
Mark getting high with one of his regulars. Wanna convince a closeted gym dude to go through with the deed? Guarantee him privacy, weed and chill vibes.
“You think I’m gay? What, with this bling, body hair and smoldering look? Gay? Me? Nah, bruuh. Nah. I mean, if you’re up for something, I don’t…you know…”
Bro about to declare war on some porcelain and knew he had to send a pre-battle selfie to all his Code bros. All the fellas agree, his weapon is up for the task. The bro rituals are… intricate. Yes, definitely intricate.
This went from “Let’s film a stupid video for the girls”, to “Bro, I wanna eat your face, you’re so damn hot” real fucking quick. Like seconds. I guess the girls are in for a bit of a shock.
Fun time with bro keeps getting more and more righteous. You’ve just come from your weekly Code meeting – all about how to be good, straight bros who never stray from good dude shit – which always gets you extra juiced for each other.
You joined a new gym that opened in your neighborhood. It claimed to be “inclusive”, which sounded righteous. Inclusivity rocks! Also it had a pool. You were sold. And what a good fucking decision that’s been. All the bros at the gym are crazy friendly. Right from the off, they insisted on kissing. Now listen – you’re a righteous bro, and you love a good tongue sesh with a fellow traveler. But usually you gotta wait a few weeks. Share a beer, watch a game, use his toilet, you know? But with these guys? Nah, bruh. They just go straight for the kiss. And you know what, that’s pretty fucking cool. It makes your workouts take twice as long though.
When the bros are all pent up, but cause of No Homo, this is as far as they can take it. They’ll need some serious pussy when they’re done with their little petting sesh.
You used to workout alone, closeted and angry. Then you met Tony and everything changed. Tony was long out the closet, long down the weight-lifting road and all too willing to teach you his ways. And now you were as jacked as him, as sexy as him and as committed as him. You make sure to kiss him tender before every set, just to show your appreciation for everything Tony’s done for you.
What was that about a boy’s only weekend up at the cabin? Well yeah, that’s exactly what is was about. The concoction of drugs these boys are rolling on is pretty righteous. Uppers, downers, poppers et al. Everything and anything to get their walls down and their dicks up. Imagine if their girls could see them now huhu.
Taking a shower with your bro saves water. Think of the environment. And kissing your bro saves… emm… women from having to buy chapstick… or something…
You and bro go camping every other weekend during the summer, like ritual. Everyone thinks you’re just doing guy shit, like fishing and and hiking and stoking campfires. And that’s true. But the guy shit is a little more… intense than just that. Fuck, it started off innocent enough, just buddies spending quality time with each other. But I don’t know, something clicked in the both of you. Before you knew it, you were clothes-off, sucking down each other’s hogs like you’d never get another chance. And that’s kind of how it feels, right? Like, this is the last chance, cause this whole thing is a fantasy. But there you both are, every second weekend, sucking dick, fucking ass, kissing lips and generally doing “guy shit” in a way you never let yourself imagine before. And this is the real guy shit. Accept no substitute.
Just a couple of all-American bros. You love to show off together; flexing is your main past-time. The girls go wild, so do the guys. Which suits you just fine. Like all good American bros, you practise chicks on the beach, dicks in the sheets.
Whenever you and bro get together, things get really physical. It’s all No Homo, obviously, but he’s just so fucking sexy that you can’t help yourself. His ass has more meat on it than any woman’s you’ve been with, and something about that just turns you on. Your boner strains your pants, leaking away like crazy. That makes you a little sus. Like, that seems kinda homo. But so long as at least one of you keeps your cock out of sight, anything you do is totally fine. That’s the rule, right? The goalposts keep changing when it comes to No Homo, but that sounds right. Man, you love spending time with your bro.
Your gay bro was telling you about his hook-up last night and you were playing along like a good bud.
“And then I fucking busted, dude. All over his cute face. He couldn’t believe how much splooge there was. It was funny.”
“Like this?”
You pretended to get cummed on.
“Exactly.”
“Haha, that’s awesome. I wish chicks would let you do that to them. They’re too worried about messing up their make-up.”
“You should hang with me and my fuck bros, bro. We’re non-stop busting on each other.”
“Eh… okay.”
There it was. You’d been waiting for him to give you an opening for months now. He assumed you weren’t into guys. Probably cause you were hella closeted and never dared express any interest in men. Little did he know that you’d been using his sex stories for your spank bank ever since you met the guy. And now, looks like you were gonna be part of it. Dream come true.
When your gay bro has been trying to get your dick for weeks. You keep turning him down cause you’re “straight” and “straight” guys don’t do that shit. Then he sends you this photo. You don’t know if it was his puckered blowjob lips, his fat bulge, his thick, beckoning ass spread-eagled for your dick, or just his needy fucking eyes. Either way, you drove over to his house as fast as you fucking could, all that nonsense about being “straight” long forgotten.
When you’re just minding your own business and bro storms up to you and starts making out. You couldn’t stop it if you wanted to, and fuck knows you don’t want to.
Just a regular Friday night for these boys. Bro struck out with the chicks at the bar, so stumbled back to the house of his two gay besties and they fucked. Dude strikes out cause he always goes for the hottest chick, every time. They keep telling him that he should aim a bit lower, but he keeps telling them it’s 10s or the boys. Women aren’t worth the hassle unless they’re total bombshells.
You’re all doing your best to hide your boners, waiting for that one het guy to leave so you can get the party started. The guy in the back corner’s about to lose his fucking mind.
You’re just a dumb bro gooning out on camera with the rest of your team. Nothing gets you harder than the admiration and affection from your bros. You’re all sporting wood in celebration of your victory. Cum’s leaking, you’re all feeling a certain kind of way. Fuck! Like dude, who needs girls, honestly?