Looking like this, he wasn’t getting anywhere with women. Too fat. Too hairy. Too slobbish. Too gross. So he decided to try something he’d been wanting to try for years. He went on Railr. Within days, he had an endless parade of men looking to ride his fat, hairy, slobbish, gross body. Within weeks he began doing some reciprocal cocksucking. Within months he’d sworn off women completely as he realized the full glory of men. It’s just surprising it took him this long, considering how glorious he is.

It’ll be our little secret