“And you promise it’ll make the itching stop?”
“Would I lie to you?” you said.
“No, dude. I trust you. If fucking me is the only way to get rid of that itch, then do it. The problem goes so deep, bro. Nothing I do can satisfy it.”
“This will satisfy it,” you said as you smacked your eight incher on your palm. “You don’t know it, dude, but your ass has been craving this for years.”
“Could you show me again, bro?”
“Okay, but really lean your butt into me. You need the leverage.”
“No problem.”
Bone down on bros, huhu
“Bros, three way make-out session, now! Whoever chubs up, loses.”
“Bro! Yes!”
Not a winner in sight.
“Tony, hurry up.”
“Yeah, one sec, babe. Just have to say goodbye to the fellas.”
Bone down on bros, huhu
You and your bro just sharing your daily post-workout kissing sesh.
“No homo, bro?”
“No homo.”
“Love you, bro.”
“Fucking love you, bro.”
Bone up on bros here
“Nah dude, this is how you make out with a chick.”
“Fuuu.”
Bros help bros get good at the important shit.
Bone up on bros here
This went from “Let’s film a stupid video for the girls”, to “Bro, I wanna eat your face, you’re so damn hot” real fucking quick. Like seconds. I guess the girls are in for a bit of a shock.
Then again, maybe not.
Bone up on bros here
“Huhu, bro, no! It’s getting chubbed.”
“Then let go of my arm, dude.”
“Eeh, fuuu~”
Bone up on bros here
There’s being in the closet, and then there’s this. Bros are just on a whole other level.
Bone up on bros here
You joined a new gym that opened in your neighborhood. It claimed to be “inclusive”, which sounded righteous. Inclusivity rocks! Also it had a pool. You were sold. And what a good fucking decision that’s been. All the bros at the gym are crazy friendly. Right from the off, they insisted on kissing. Now listen – you’re a righteous bro, and you love a good tongue sesh with a fellow traveler. But usually you gotta wait a few weeks. Share a beer, watch a game, use his toilet, you know? But with these guys? Nah, bruh. They just go straight for the kiss. And you know what, that’s pretty fucking cool. It makes your workouts take twice as long though.
Bone up on bros here
When the bros are all pent up, but cause of No Homo, this is as far as they can take it. They’ll need some serious pussy when they’re done with their little petting sesh.
Bone up on bros here
“Like this, bro?”
“Yep, perfect.”
“You know I was going fucking hard at the gym. I could shower first-?”
“Nah, bro. I told you you’re perfect.”
“And if you rim me, I’ll stop getting chubbies around other dudes?”
“Oh yeah. Definitely. But I have to go for quite a while. Otherwise it won’t work.”
“If you say so, bro. I need to get control of this shit. It seems I can’t do anything with another guy without getting a boner these days.”
Ah, closeted meatheads. So stupid. So gullible. So sexy.
Bone up on bros here
Started as gay chicken, then just gay kissing, then suddenly “oh shit we’re doing this okay”.
Bone up on bros here
What was that about a boy’s only weekend up at the cabin? Well yeah, that’s exactly what is was about. The concoction of drugs these boys are rolling on is pretty righteous. Uppers, downers, poppers et al. Everything and anything to get their walls down and their dicks up. Imagine if their girls could see them now huhu.
Bone up on bros here.
While everyone looks away, the bros rub noses and think about the fun they’re gonna have later.
Bone up on bros here.
Taking a shower with your bro saves water. Think of the environment. And kissing your bro saves… emm… women from having to buy chapstick… or something…
Bone up on bros here.
You and bro go camping every other weekend during the summer, like ritual. Everyone thinks you’re just doing guy shit, like fishing and and hiking and stoking campfires. And that’s true. But the guy shit is a little more… intense than just that. Fuck, it started off innocent enough, just buddies spending quality time with each other. But I don’t know, something clicked in the both of you. Before you knew it, you were clothes-off, sucking down each other’s hogs like you’d never get another chance. And that’s kind of how it feels, right? Like, this is the last chance, cause this whole thing is a fantasy. But there you both are, every second weekend, sucking dick, fucking ass, kissing lips and generally doing “guy shit” in a way you never let yourself imagine before. And this is the real guy shit. Accept no substitute.
It’ll be our little secret
Bone up on bros here
Just a couple of all-American bros. You love to show off together; flexing is your main past-time. The girls go wild, so do the guys. Which suits you just fine. Like all good American bros, you practise chicks on the beach, dicks in the sheets.
Bone up on bros here.
Lose yourself to the pornstar state of mind
Whenever you and bro get together, things get really physical. It’s all No Homo, obviously, but he’s just so fucking sexy that you can’t help yourself. His ass has more meat on it than any woman’s you’ve been with, and something about that just turns you on. Your boner strains your pants, leaking away like crazy. That makes you a little sus. Like, that seems kinda homo. But so long as at least one of you keeps your cock out of sight, anything you do is totally fine. That’s the rule, right? The goalposts keep changing when it comes to No Homo, but that sounds right. Man, you love spending time with your bro.
Bone up on bros here.
When you’re just minding your own business and bro storms up to you and starts making out. You couldn’t stop it if you wanted to, and fuck knows you don’t want to.
Bone up on bros here.
Yeah, just eat bros face. Fucking awesome! He must have just won a Smash tournament or something.
Bone up on bros here.
The girls have gone in to get changed, so you take the opportunity to have a quick 3-way kissing sesh with the boys.
Bone up on bros here.
When you and bro have gone on a decade-long bulk together and now you can’t even fit in the same car anymore.
Bone up on bros here.
Your best bud’s on his way over so you make sure to pump everything up for him. You want to look your best for bro.
Bone up on bros here.
Just a regular Friday night for these boys. Bro struck out with the chicks at the bar, so stumbled back to the house of his two gay besties and they fucked. Dude strikes out cause he always goes for the hottest chick, every time. They keep telling him that he should aim a bit lower, but he keeps telling them it’s 10s or the boys. Women aren’t worth the hassle unless they’re total bombshells.
Bone up on bros here.
You and your buddy always hang back after practice to get in your bro time. It’s the best part of the day.
Artist: Unknown
Bone up on bros here.
When you just can’t keep your hands off your gym bro when he wears his spandex. No homo, bro.
Unless…
Bone up on bros here.
You’re all doing your best to hide your boners, waiting for that one het guy to leave so you can get the party started. The guy in the back corner’s about to lose his fucking mind.
Bone up on bros here.
You’re just a dumb bro gooning out on camera with the rest of your team. Nothing gets you harder than the admiration and affection from your bros. You’re all sporting wood in celebration of your victory. Cum’s leaking, you’re all feeling a certain kind of way. Fuck! Like dude, who needs girls, honestly?
Bone up on bros here.
When it’s past 2am and all the girls have left. That’s when the club really gets bouncin’.
Artist: Artisticjinsky
Bone up on bros here.
There’s nothing sus about worshipping bro’s incredible body. Nothing sus about that at all. You’re both pretty bricked while you do it, so that must mean it’s fine. Bricked is good. Being bricked is totally bro. Homos don’t get bricked.
Bone up on bros here.
When you’re just making sure your bro’s decent while doing his pullups. Any good bro would do the same. Grazing bro’s semi is just part of the process.
Bone up on bros here.
How you’ve taken to greeting your gay buddy every time he comes round. Even the thought of it makes you tent. He says that’s totally normal, that all the other bros he makes out with get hard too, so you don’t worry too much about it. Also fucking him just feels cool, you know? He says that’s normal too. All bros are natural tops. You fucking love the sound of that.
Bone up on bros here.
When bro asks you to take footage for his FortheFans, all innocent like. Of course you say yes. Bros help bros. You take your boner as a sign that bro’s looking hot and is gonna make a killing on the site. Which is sick. What a bro doesn’t wanna make money with his donk? You’re thinking about maybe doing it, too. Maybe you and bro could do some scenes together…
Bone up on bros here.
When bro sets you up with a new VR headset and fleshlight. He told you to just click play. There sure are a lot of dudes. You trust bro, he always keeps you straight. And now the dudes are kissing. And now sucking. And fucking. And you’re hard. It’s not long before you’ve busted a vivid load into your new toy. That was the first time you’d seen gay porn. You press replay.
Artist: Dazswole
Bone up on bros here.
What happens at the cabin stays at the cabin. Right boys? Such an awesome and totally accurate broism. Mancaves – bro squats – are where dudes can be dudes with each other without, like, judgment and shit. It’s awesome and every bro needs to get into it.
Bone up on bros here.
When bro’s lying around the apartment in these pants, things can get real gay real fast. Once is a fluke, twice is a mistake, three times is a fucking cry for help. But fuu, bro’s donk tho!
Bone up on bros here.
When you’ve been macking on your bro for weeks now and he just keeps getting handsier and handsier.
Bone up on bros here.
When you’re horsing around with bro and it inevitably leads to you spread out on your bed and him eating out your awesome dude donk. You don’t know why it keeps happening, but it must be totally fine cause, like, it does keep happening. Some of your other bros did warn you about the downsides of chilling with gay dudes. But, fuck, if this is a downside, you can’t wait to see the upside, shit.
Bone up on bros here.
Just getting in your daily kissing practice with bro. Practice makes perfect. For the chicks. Perfect for the chicks. That’s what you care about.
Bone up on bros here.
When you and bro are tag-teaming a girl, but you can’t keep your eyes off each other. Or your mouths. She finds it hot, which is good. A nice cover. You’re kissing cause it makes her wet. Uh huh. You’ve kinda stopped fucking while you kiss, tho but…
Bone up on bros here.
When you and bro are both about to go on leave, so you make sure to get in plenty of bro-time before you have to go home and endure spend time with your girls. Leave sucks. If you could have it your way, you and bro would be on duty together all year round.
Bone up on bros here.
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