Bro4bro bros bro here, bro
“Bruh, never meant to rub up on you like that, just sorta happened huhuhu. Don’t mean shit, dude.” – some bro. Some bro who’s bro4bro. Nothing fruity, nothing sus, nothing faggy. Just bros being bros with their bros, you know, bro? I know… I think.
“Look, there’s nothing sweeter than two bruhs just being fucking all chill with each other, dude. Sweet like sick, dude, not like hearts and flowers and shit. That’s for chicks and fags. Like, bros get it. You don’t get it. Just a couple of broskis with a couple of brewskis in the hot tub getting all fucking touchy-feely, dude, fuuu~.
“You fags wanna make it out to be like one of your little gay boy things, but it’s not that, dude. We’re totally into chicks. We watch so much fucking straight porn together, dude, you don’t even know. Just jacking and gooning and cumming all over each other. There’s nothing gay about that! The porn’s got chicks in it, dude, come on!”
Cute.
I don’t wanna give the bros a hard time – they’re famously stupid. But some of the shit these bros get up to is major league sus. Every time a bro sits on his bro’s lap and tickles his chest, the gaydar pings. Every time a bro oils down his bro’s hot body and celebrates his ‘sick gainz bruh’, the gaydar pings. And every time a bro takes ten minutes to kiss his bro goodbye at the door, the gaydar fucking explodes.
And for the bruhs who wanna take it that step further, there’s always the Bro Code. A collection of rules for bros to live by where they can be as intimate as possible without ever getting gay. Anything a bro does is always no-homo™, IF he abides by the Code.
No matter how far it goes.
*Featured artwork by Artisticjinsky
