Chug on those cocks here, dooods
You know how, like, half of your day as a dude is just thinking about donks? How you’re constantly sliding a hand into your pants to lightly jack on your best pal cause dick, tits or ass come into sight? Fellas, we need to masturbate. It’s self-care, it’s self-love. And so the more self-love, the better, right? The more you masturbate to take care of your needs, the better it is. Just trust me on this, dude, jacking is good.
When a fella’s really showing himself love, we call that gooning. It’s not just masturbation with the intention of cumming, it’s masturbation with the intention of masturbating. You jack to jack. Gooning is when masturbation becomes a tautology. Or at least a philosophy. Whether with a fist or a toy, showing your mini-me the love and care he deserves is what all good gooners do. Gooning is good.
But, like, you know how being alone in your dark apartment with nothing but the glow of the computer and the moans of the porno to keep you company is a bit… you know? It’s just a bit grim. Sometimes! Sometimes, dood. When it gets a bit grim, the solution is obvious. Gooncave, my guy. You don’t have a local gooncave? Shit. Gotta change that. Gooncaves are awesome. They’re just mancaves where fellas gather to watch porn and goon out together.
And hey, listen. This is for all men. It’s not about things getting funny between the fellas. All sexualities are welcome in the cave. Some guys’ll want gay porn, some’ll want straight, all should be respected. Fuck, put different porn on different TVs and have it become an intoxicating wave of synthetic sex. That shit’s hot. And that doesn’t mean that things can’t frisky between you and a fellow gooner. If the vibe’s right, go for it. Who’s gonna stop you?
So sidle up to your gooner bro and edge that dick with him for as long as you want. There’s no wrong way to goon, except to not goon.
